The Jellyfish Season

Kathleen was emo before emo was cool. Seriously, 1985 and she’s giving stupid Hot Topic hoodrats a run for their money.

Kathleen, her parents, and her three younger sisters (Patsy, Mo, and Rosie) are forced to move from Baltimore to a dirty city on the Chesapeake after their dad loses his job. Nobody wants to go, especially not adamant Ginger Patsy, but Kathleen decides to ~set an example~ by not pushing the issue. Patsy rightfully calls her a pussy and continues throwing shitfits. Their dad is emotionally unavailable, their mom is a basket case, and it is quite sad to pretty much see my family life as a child play out in a novel. Emo sigh.

anyway, they get to aforementioned dirty Chesapeake city to live with their aunt, uncle, and slutty cousin whom Kathleen and Patsy have to share a room with. They are not pleased with this development, nor is Fay, the harlot in question. Evidently she has been a twatwaffle to the protagonists for their entire existence and Patsy is determined to wage war with her until they leave to go back to Baltimore (snort!) Kathleen just wants peace and quiet, while fourteen-year-old Fay just wants cigarettes. oh, and sex with her 20-year-old sailor boyfriend, Joe. yes, you read that right, and no, I did not make that up. even worse - she told him that she was eighteen. I certainly couldn’t pull off eighteen at fourteen. I could barely pull off eighteen at eighteen.

Fay swears Kathleen and Patsy to secrecy while not-so-secretly making out with him on the beach in front of Mo, who is at that beautiful age where questions are asked at the loudest possible volume, at the most inopportune times, and in front of the very worst people. anyway, Kathleen covers for Mo. Fay blames Kathleen for her almost getting busted. Fay is a bitch.

The girls just love Joe, and Joe just loves the girls. supposedly, they remind him of his sister back home. that isn’t creepy at all! but doing the hippity dippity with a fourteen-year-old is so nevermind. Kathleen’s dad does nothing but drink and smoke, her mom is getting crankier and sleeps all the time, and her aunt rides her ass. Kathleen is basically expected to do EVERYTHING for her sisters, and she’s just almost thirteen years old. what a load of horseshit; I would be emo as hell too. the girl can’t even take a shower without people being complete assholes to her.

one day, Fay feels like Joe is flirting with Kathleen, so she throws a shitfit of epic proportions and makes herself look like the child she is. nobody rats her out, but she certainly comes off like a toolshed. Kathleen continues to worry about her ever-so-reclusive mother and her impending thirteenth birthday. basically her dad ruins it because he’s in a bar and wishes her a happy birthday from a fucking pay phone while “looking for a job.”

anyway, a carnival is in town, and Kathleen, Patsy, her aunt and uncle, and Fay are all going. Fay will secretly be meeting up with Joe of course, because nothing can possibly go wrong when you’re in love at the age of fourteen.  Joe is dressed in fully Navy uniform and takes the girls to a ring toss, where Patsy wins a fish. She is excited, and Fay’s a bitch to her, so finally she outs her to Joe. He doesn’t particularly have time to react, because Fay’s dad notices him and threatens him with all kinds of good things, like violence and court-martials and blahhhhhblahblah. I’m all against pedophilia, but when a dumb bitch lies and tells someone that they are eighteen at the age of fourteen I’m less likely to believe it’s all the man’s fault. Joe walks off and gives Fay an emo look while she’s crying. Tear.

Fay goes into emo mode, and Kathleen and Patsy are sad that they won’t see Joe again. oh, but they do - on the beach. with another woman. oooooooops. Fay now knows she was a piece of tail and nothing more. so, like any reasonable person, she convinces Kathleen to go to a rough Navy bar to look for him. these girls are thirteen and fourteen, may I remind you. obviously they get picked up by the cops and driven to Fay’s, where they are read the riot act.  Fay gets pissed off at Kathleen and tells her that she is poor white trash and her mom’s pregnant. Kathleen tells her to go fuck herself basically and runs down the beach by herself. a while later, Patsy finds her, and Kathleen tells her what’s up. after a storm passes they go home and ignore their mother.

Kathleen and Fay make up, while her parents find a house in Dirty Chesapeake City  (against everyone’s wishes.) her mom admits that she’s knocked up and hopes for a boy. Kathleen just rolls her eyes and decides that this nonsense is her life, at least for the next five years.